A Daily Dose

So in my quest to break away from the habit of paralyzation, i've started a small project-per-day goal.  This is my hope and i'm finding it true so far - that i will discover and get addicted to play time with no cares about the final piece but just trying to get into the zone and have a daily dose of creativity.  i really find that my day goes better and i'm truly happier on these days that i get into the groove.  Doing the projects with an open heart, getting down to some real emotion and

possibly some real healing - that makes me feel great!

6 Degrees of Separation

It was a hot one and we decided on pizza delivery and a movie last night. The 3 of us watched Six Degrees of Separation - a story that i knew, read about, but i had never seen the movie.  There's a part of the movie where a character speaks about imagination and how paralyzation is when the imagination stops and is void.  i may need to listen to that speech again.  i have been seeing signs everywhere - yoga mag came this week with large headings on the cover - meditation for creativity - open your heart to find happiness.  These are my current thoughts: the heart does not just open once and you are fixed.  some rays get in and then it closes again - what i do understand is that maybe it will open again and again - each time a bit quicker and a bit easier.  i do feel that this week a piece of the wall has shattered and the light is trying to glow just a bit deeper.

Paralyzed

i'm staring up at a brilliant moon at dusk - the sky is a deep purple grey - thinking about a weekend lost.  i was paralyzed by my desire to start a new project with my free time since my love was on a weekend trip to visit family.  How does 48 hours slip by in a few winks?  i'm just looped by why i have such a block to the word "play".  It's fear at being judged for the outcome even if it's only me seeing the goods - what about process over product?  Something needs to break open in my creative journey (and i think it might be my heart).

A New Day A New Me A New You A New House

It took a while for me to wrap my mind around the fact that i wanted and could afford to buy a house.  i had made my rental house a home for so long it was difficult to imagine a change or disruption - my son attended k-12 in that house - it holds a lot of dear memories.  Someone close to me said "if things are good and you are happy why make a change".  Yes and no - i must admit that i'm on the fence about that - maybe it's just me but i'm really good at being content with what is - that might be at the core of most of my issues.  Why rock the boat...just enjoy the view and while i'm there  i'll just watch everyone else jump out and skinny dip in the ocean and swim with the mermaids. See the thing is that fear will and has kept me from adventures.  Buying a house is the first step in my new life of overcoming fear: aka being courageous and going for it - whatever it may be.  Want to jump in with me? The mermaids are waiting.....