Paralyzed

i'm staring up at a brilliant moon at dusk - the sky is a deep purple grey - thinking about a weekend lost.  i was paralyzed by my desire to start a new project with my free time since my love was on a weekend trip to visit family.  How does 48 hours slip by in a few winks?  i'm just looped by why i have such a block to the word "play".  It's fear at being judged for the outcome even if it's only me seeing the goods - what about process over product?  Something needs to break open in my creative journey (and i think it might be my heart).